thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
