Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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