is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
