Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Randomize
