My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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