Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
