Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
