Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
