My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
just tell him i said nine months
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
