No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
