end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
me + whiskey = a bad person
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize