just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize