I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
