are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
