its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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