Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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