Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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