there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
