so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
