i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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