oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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