Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
