if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
