Are we in a gay sports bar?
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
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I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
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they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.