I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
