How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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