Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
