I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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