I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
