i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
