we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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