I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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