You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize