i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
