with your own penis?
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
