think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
