I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
