? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
