I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize