you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Randomize
