FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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