Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
