just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
