a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
