OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
You can't special order awesome
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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