whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
