its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
