i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
This is the high leading the old right now
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
