Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
it's like iHOP with fire
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
