Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
