If i come over, it means nothing
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
