Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
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