Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
