i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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