Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
