I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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