But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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