Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
