yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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