We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize