Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Are we in a gay sports bar?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
